WTF?!?!

So, I've been dating a person. In a relationship, I guess. We more or less call ourselves girlfriends. It's been fun, light...you know how it goes. The funny thing is that I am finding myself in that same place again. The place where I don't feel worthy. Where my self-esteem crashes and I only find myself fucking up and trying the patience of said person.

It's like this deep, dark, black well that I fall into. There is no way to climb out of the abyss. It's dumb, too. It's been fun BUT it's also been somewhat trying. The whole thing has almost been like dating myself. I have sort of felt like I now know what the exes have felt like while being in a relationship with me. R and I have so many similar traits, yet so many differences between us - it makes things hard.

The question is: how do I keep the deep, dark well of worthlessness from opening up and sucking me in? How many affirmations can you repeat? How many times can you slowly and clearly say each one? Do you ever really believe the words that come out of your mouth?